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june [Roof Doctor | 2011]

by Roof Doctor

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1.
i don't know if you're just afraid of expectations or if my emotions have made things too complicated but what i do know is you made me feel at home and now that i'm alone again i can't help but feel jaded would it be wrong to say that i was lead on when we shared a bed for a month were we just having fun cause to me it seemed like we were together though not technically and maybe that's for the better am i allowed to feel like i'm a husk of a man who cannot comprehend the thing that you have done to him or if that's too sensational then i guess I could pretend that nothing happened and we're just friends it had a major impact on my self esteem i'll play it cool and then i'll bury it down deep my brain could use a little reprogramming cause what you get is really not what you see
2.
i try not to be a mopey guy and i try not to be in front of my friends when i cry but i'm finding when i keep all of my anger cooped inside that trying isn't really worth the time so i spend too much of that up in my room i am alone i won't pick up my phone especially for you because you piss me off more than all of the other people do i know that nothing that you said to me was true and now i'm glad that i am seeing someone new i hate being on the backburner and not having a clue and unlike with you my feelings will not cause her to resist yeah she is a really great psychologist i'm happy that i just started a job eight hours washing dishes and my brain will just turn off it lets me pass out and not confront any of my thoughts i guess that means my sleep problem is solved in the fall i am going back to school you could say that in the past few years i have been to a few and i think i might be going for something i'd like to do but if that does not pan out i'll still be cool but if that does not pan out i wont be cool but if that does not pan out i'll still be cool but if that does not pan out i wont be cool
3.
the thing that keeps me up at night is that i feel like i have been a bad person feel like i have failed all of my friends and you'd be better off if i was dead then there's the one i think about in bed who i'm afraid that i idealize and i can't tell if there is something there or if there's not she consumes far too many of my thoughts my body is a broken alarm clock when i fall asleep the sound it makes wakes me up it prevents me from getting close to all the people that i want and when they leave they've got a pretty good reason when i wake up again its because of the bad dreams like my brother fucking my girlfriend or my mom dying when i stay up after that its cause i can't escape my fears when the sun rises the pillows covered in tears i fall asleep at ten am and i wake up at five i fall asleep at ten pm and i wake up at five normal people tend to sleep from 1 am to 9 i'm starting to think that i might need something perscribed
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roof doctor 02:24
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about

i wrote almost all of these songs in june of 2011, which was a very strange month for me. these songs are about loss and other things, but mostly loss.

credits

released July 20, 2011

music by mark harper
produced by fox mulder
album art by fox mulder and alyssa forgione

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all rights reserved

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Hickory Lane Records Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

We're a multi-genre record label/collective based in Philadelphia. Great tunes, unique perspectives and dedication to musicianship are among the hallmarks of our artists.

In addition to new releases we are proud to host an extensive backlog of records and projects past.

Hickory Lane was the original name of Philadelphia's Fairmount Avenue.

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